How Do You Calm Down When Feeling Anxious?

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How Do You Calm Down When Feeling Anxious?

Young woman lying down in the grass and blowing dandelion

The anxiety is a constant state of mind for many people today. Fear, worry, restlessness and extreme insecurity are some of its characteristics.

1. Stop turning things around

According to the professional this only “feeds the brain, it is like throwing birdseed to a chicken. The more birdseed, the fatter. The more you give, the more attention you give to your thoughts. You are rude to your brain. You are training him to turn around and around something that, in general, does not depend on you. ”

“No matter how many turns your thoughts give, solutions do not appear. Why? Because most times you cuddle over useless worries. Concerns about which you have no power of action. You look around to see if, just in case, in a neural roundabout, the miracle appears. But it will not appear. The miracle is in letting be what does not depend on you “, adds the expert.

Patricia recommends writing down what you spin in a notebook and then away from you. “When you come up with ideas that are worthwhile in relation to that problem, open the notebook and write them down. And while you are attentive to what happens in your life, not in your head. The details, the moments, your work, your people … there you have to be, and not in the meadow with the cows. And stop reasoning, give explanations to everything that happens to you … because nothing happens to you. It’s just anxiety. It’s more harmless than a stomach virus, “he says.

2. Stop justifying yourself

“You give explanations to not face your fears, you give them to others so they can understand your lack of daring or your blockade. Nobody needs explanations except your conscience, which seems to need to be left alone. But even she is not obliged to give reasons, “said Patricia.

The psychologist adds that “you have the freedom to say NO or not go where you do not want. Another thing is that you want to overcome your fear and face the situation … yes, when you decide. But as long as you choose to stay in your comfort zone, you do not have to give explanations to anyone to stay there. ”

3. Stop avoiding

Ramírez points out that “every time you avoid your fear, you increase the level of anxiety with it. You look further away from your goal and contemplate yourself as someone unable to face situations and activities that others do. You are neither more nor less than anyone, neither more nor less capable. You are just a person who is avoiding. ”

“I assure you that the perception of fear is subjective, and that it is more tremendous from the outside, from your point of view, than if you faced fear. I encourage you to take away the courage to have a bad time, to be nervous. Do you know someone who has died of anxiety? No, and neither do I. So facing you should not be so dangerous, “she says.

4. Stop thinking about each and every one of the consequences of taking a step forward

“Being brave has its dot of unconsciousness. You can not live in a fantasy world, you have to have your feet on the ground. But you must take a little risk. Life is decisions, lose, win, play. Nothing happens if you do not participate. Do not be afraid of making a mistake. Error is part of learning. Moreover, be proud of your mistakes, they are part of your growth, “says Patricia.

“Do you really think Nadal played so well 15 years ago? No, he has been growing with his work, a lot of effort and his mistakes. You can be wrong, you must be wrong. When you lose your fear of failure, you will lose your anxiety, in addition to taking a backpack that weighs a lot, “he emphasizes.

5. Stop making constant value judgments with everything that happens around you

“Your thoughts are just that, thoughts. They do not always define you. What you define are your performances. Stop fearing what torments you. Not everything has a meaning, let alone a catastrophic meaning. Not all the ‘and if …’ can end the sentence in misfortunes. And if they have to end in misfortunes, can you avoid them? No, “he says at this point.

The specialist explains that thinking catastrophically and anticipating the dangers most of the time, “far from controlling them, provokes them.”

“Because you think so much about the misfortunes that can happen, that your brain only attends the signals that indicate the negative, ignoring all the flowers that life offers you. Stop judging what happens around, stop judging people (that’s gossip) and stop judging you. And do what you want, desire and fantasize, “he says.

6. Stop scanning

Ramirez indicates that “people with anxiety are all day long checking their vital signs … that if I flutter, that if I’m pale, if I have dark circles, if I can not breathe, that I look at how I have the tension. They know each other better on the inside than on the outside. Get away from the whole checkup. You have nothing but the reaction of your nervous system. And what’s more, you have lost it with so many threatening thoughts. ”

“The poor nervous system is on guard all day, on alert, waiting to run or attack. And it turns out that threats are situations like not going through a job interview or that the person you love does not listen to you. The moment you stop contemplating your world as a threat, the heart will stop beating as if it were coming out of your chest. And remember, thank you because you beat your heart, it means you’re alive! “He says.

7. Stop taking responsibility and worry about more

“Many people feel more responsible and perfect for worrying about everything, than those who ignore their fears. There is no direct relationship between responsibility and suffering. Taking your life with calm does not make you get rid of your worries. Taking your life with calm takes you to not affect you and block your life, “says the professional.

She says that you try to take with humor and laughter what you can not take care of.

8. Stop talking about your topic with everyone, including yourself

“Talking about your anxiety, about how your life paralyzes and how bad you are and misfortune that you are, does not provide solutions. You only contaminate the one next to you, you recreate your misfortune and feel bad after the conversation. Talk about solutions, not problems. Find support in who can give you good advice. Sometimes friends and family tend to protect who suffers, but it is not a help. Evaluate the comments of whoever tells you to push ahead and put your batteries, “says Ramirez.

9. Stop not living

“At what point did you decide to stop living, wither, lose opportunities to give value to a simple emotion? (…) You can live being sad, anxious, frustrated, upset, impatient. Emotions do not block your life. What happens to you is that as you want to avoid feeling bad in that search for the full happiness that you have sold us, you avoid situations that make you feel bad “, according to Patricia.

She explains that “those emotions are part of life, of maturing, of growing, of your progress. Learning to live with them is the best thing that can happen to you. And this is not a song of unhappiness, far from it. It is simply to take experience with them, so that when they arrive, we can tolerate them. And the rest of life, to live fully. ”

10. Stop falling in love with your anxiety

“You pay more attention to your anxiety than to your love! You look at yourself, you value yourself, you think, you give it time, it limits your life, it takes away your space, you delay your priorities, you get angry with it, you reject it and you fall in love again. IT’S OVER. Stop giving it value You give it value when you listen to it. Accept that he is with you, that he is there, but go your way. As Rocky said, ‘you have to endure without stopping moving forward. If you know what you’re worth, go and get what you deserve, but you’ll have to endure the blows of life. ‘ Well, that, if you have desires, fight; If you want to be free, go outside; if you want to drive, get in the car; if you want an increase in salary, you will have to go through an uncomfortable conversation with your boss; if you feel mistreated you will have to face and talk with the person, “says the specialist.

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