Many men like to imagine that they are the most confident Juvenile Donors, even if they are stressed when undressing. Here’s how to calm things down and have fun
Most men think that they should accumulate as many sexual partners as possible. For many men, the number of sexual partners is an essential part of their masculinity. And even if you think it’s stupid, it’s likely that you think about it from time to time.
What to do when making love with a new partner angers you?
Many men have been confronted with this problem. You want to make love and get your feet, but the stress you feel with new partners can be disabling. You are nervous thinking about what she expects and what she will think of your performance. You feel great pressure and you want to do everything right from the first moment. All this pressure and stress seriously affect your sexual performance and pleasure.
If you encounter this problem, here are seven tips to follow:
First of all, you should know that everyone is stressed about having sex with a new partner. Sex is a vulnerable act, even when it is casual. Being stressed is a totally normal and predictable answer. This can help you remember that you are not the only one feeling nervous. Do not forget that she too is nervous.
Relaxing is not a casual tactic. Tell me if this situation sounds familiar to you: you start to be nervous. You want yourself to feel nervous. You are entering a vicious cycle of nervousness. You feel even more nervous.
You can break this spiral if you stop blaming yourself for being anxious. Just say “OK, I’m nervous and it does not matter. No need to criticize me for that.
If anxiety is a persistent problem at home, working on it, regardless of your sex life, can help you. Sometimes the experiences you have in bed signal things you have to work on outside the room.
Of course, anxiety is a broad topic that includes many facets of psychological health, but there are many different ways to address it:
Many men get anxious without it being necessary because they want to be intimate with a new woman as quickly as possible. This is largely a question of socialization: we teach men to think that they must be close to a woman as quickly as possible. I say “without it being necessary” because there is really no reason to hurry you. If a woman wants to be intimate with you, she will not automatically change her mind just because you take your time. She will appreciate that you are in no hurry to act .
If having sex with a new partner makes you constantly nervous, this may be a sign that you need to slow down. You can avoid nervousness by giving yourself the time to get to know a woman before you slip under the sheets with her. Do not get into hot antics before anxiety has been replaced by excitement.
Taking your time should not be boring. If you hurry, you’ll get nervous.
You can soothe your nerves by spending a few evenings focusing on foreplay with a new partner . Do not worry. Focusing on the preliminaries will give you the opportunity to get to know her better (and her body), which will give you more confidence.
Remember that you are more likely to give your orgasm with your fingers or tongue than during the sexual act itself. She will not blame you for changing her pace.
If you’re still not convinced by my advice to slow down, here’s another reason to be careful: if you hurry, there’s more chance you’ll experience performance issues.
I work with a lot of men who have performance problems. One of the most fascinating things is that they are never constant. Some men experience it in some situations and not in others. My clients have noticed that when they followed my advice telling them to slow down and get to know a woman before bed with her , they had a lot less trouble. I caught your eye, right?
Ask yourself the following questions: What exactly does “performance” mean to you? What do you expect from you in bed?
One of the exercises I do with my clients is to ask them to list their sexual expectations of themselves. You can do the same thing. Make a list of what you think you should do in bed. Write down everything that comes to your mind.
Then think about what you wrote. Are these expectations really reasonable? Would you tell your best friend that he must have those same expectations? Do you expect the same from your partner? Sometimes, considering your expectations of yourself objectively can help you realize how ridiculously high they are.
I also work with a lot of women. We are talking about what they really want from their partner during love. That’s what I learned: they do not want you to be a machine. Even during casual sexual acts, women try to feel some kind of connection with their partner. They want to have fun. They want to know that you care about their pleasure. They want to feel that you are there with her. They rarely (if ever) speak of perfect performance.